After I had Sky I struggled with the baby blues for several months. It happened again when Micah was born. It seems illogical considering how much we wanted and love each child. But during the early weeks especially I found myself going back and forth between feelings of intense happiness (am I really this beautiful baby’s mommy?) and an almost-panicky sense of responsibility (am I really the one making all the decisions for this fragile new life?). Once we settled into a new routine and I started getting more sleep, my emotions calmed down and I was able to enjoy each baby more. At the end of my third pregnancy I began to wonder how it would go this time.
Autumn is two weeks old now and so far I’ve had a lot of help. My sister-in-law Aron, who’s also an RN, stayed with us the night after Autumn’s birth to help us check her vitals and give us a little extra peace of mind. Adam had a full week off work after Autumn’s birth and even now he’s able to go in late and come home early when I need it. Friends from church and MOPS have brought meal after tasty meal. Family has stopped by to visit several times, bringing more food and giving extra attention to each child. People have offered to watch Sky and Micah for me, and we’ve opened many fun packages of new baby clothes from our long distance friends and family.
And then there’s my mom, who just flew home to Michigan over the weekend. I’m probably not even aware of everything she did during her two weeks with us. All I know is I had plenty of time to peacefully nurse the baby and take long showers. Our sink somehow stayed empty of dirty dishes and every afternoon clean, folded laundry would magically appear in our dresser drawers. Sky and Micah were entertained and happy, and best of all, I got to spend hours every day chatting and laughing with one of my favorite people.
This is my first week at home by myself with the kids and I have to admit, I’m a little nervous about how well I’ll cope with my new daily reality—a three year old, a two year old, and a newborn. I know many moms are happily raising a lot more than three kids (like those Duggars, oh my goodness), but for me just having two felt like a lot.
The days at home are often busy and fun, and yet sometimes they can be lonely. But all the help I’ve had since Autumn’s birth has stamped these words onto my mind: “You are not alone.” Having a baby is one of the best things that can happen to a woman, and it’s great that everyone wants to celebrate it. But when people stop by with food and send encouraging texts, it goes beyond congratulations. It feels almost like a validation, like my friends are saying it’s okay that I’m tired and maybe not up for cooking dinner. It’s okay that sometimes having a house full of little ones is hard. It doesn’t mean I’m unaware of the tremendous blessings in my life.
God has surrounded me with thoughtful people and I want to say thank you to each one of you. Your love and prayers during the last few weeks will encourage me for a long time. I feel like I’ve been quite a taker lately and I hope I have the chance to give something back to each of you soon.
You already do give so much, and it is such a blessing to get to give back to you even in little ways. Please give me a call/text/email/Facebook message/carrier pigeon if you start to feel lonely or down. I would love to be an encouragement to you anyway I can. And I know lots of other friends and family feel just the same way! You are definitely not alone.
Thanks Aron! I’m glad you’re coming over this week. =)
Wow! You kids are the same age of the kids I went to WI for four and a half year ago. It was an awesome year with those kids in that age they apperared to be in the. And I think you will do just find since I did and it wasn’t even my own kiddos. Lots of love
I agree with Aron, on letting us know when you have an overwhelming day/moment. We are merely a prayer away, a phone call close. The Lord gives us His measured grace to live “one day at a time” for tomorrow will take care of itself.” Not to say we don’t look ahead with a little planning, but we do so with His guiding hand. There will be good days and frustratingly overwhelming days. They are normal and we have all been there. I only had two little ones 22 months apart, but I remember that first year of sitting and crying right along with both of their melt downs. It is encouraging to grasp hold of the truth that we are not alone during those days, that there are others like ourselves who are in the same boat or who have been there ahead of us. Don’t try to keep up the same routines/pace that you did before this little one arrived for God as ordained a new routine for you. As time goes on, it will get easier, the routine will go more smoothly than the newborn days and in time you will find that you are having more time to do all that your heart desires. Thinking of you today as you have the three by yourself today.
Your post is very wise, very balanced. You are a fabulous mother, and you’ll do beautifully. God will bless your every effort, and as I’ve said many times, may God bless that wonderful husband of yours, too. Thank you for a fabulous 2 weeks sharing in your life as a family of five. What a joy for me! My thoughts are still “under your roof” with you all. I send my love across the miles.
“You are not alone.” Four simple words that have such deep meaning. And to that I’ll add three more words, “You are loved.” Linnea, you are blessed with many who love you because you are a great blessing to many. I remember the days of years gone by with my three little ones. Some days were so overwhelmingly busy and full of action, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. I dearly loved being home with my three little ones and I wonder how I managed. I think it was those precious good morning smiles, sweet words, and the pitter-patter of little feet that kept me going despite those sleepless nights. It is an adjustment, that’s for sure, but if those baby blues try to reach out and get you, just remember, you have a village behind you and you are not alone. Congratulations to the Fabulous Five.
Thank you for your sweet encouragement, Joan! I hope you and your family are doing well.