Autumn got to experience her first Easter Sunday this past weekend. She started crying as soon as Pastor Mike started preaching (nothing personal, I’m sure!), so Adam and I took turns pacing around with her in the lobby during the sermon. But we did get in on all the great Easter morning worship music.
We sat in the very back of the sanctuary, which in our church is slightly elevated. Usually during the songs I try to close my eyes so it’s easier to focus on God, but this week I couldn’t help looking out over our church family while they sang. Some of them lifted their hands toward heaven. And as I sang with them, I had this sweet sense of how small I am in the presence of our infinite, Almighty God. He calls me His child.
I was holding Autumn and my arms were tired, but I suddenly didn’t feel burdened.
An hour later we were in the van in our usual swirl of chaos. Car seats, snacks, Veggie Tales, pre-nap fussing. I was back to life as a mom, trying to keep everyone—especially myself—calm.
Sometimes motherhood feels like an endless string of decisions. It seems like at least once a day I find myself stuck. I don’t know who started it or who should get the toy. Or what we should have for dinner. Or if I should wake Autumn from her nap so she’ll sleep better at night. Sometimes it feels like everything is up to me and there’s no way I’ll get it all right.
But all week I’ve been thinking about Easter morning and God’s little reminder to me that day in church, the basic concept that God is big and I am little. When I look up at Him, my perspective straightens out and the pressure lifts. I remember that my main job is to listen to God and follow Him. My life is not really as complicated as I sometimes make it.
I still have to decide what to make for dinner. But I cope a lot better with the little decisions when I remember that my primary identity is not a mom with all the answers. It’s a child with her eyes fixed on Jesus.
“Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach.” Deuteronomy 30:11
Thank you for reminding me of that simple, but power truth: God is big, I am little. Autumn’s Easter dress is so sweet
The Wicker Park crowd all votes that she looks like you!
Thanks Sara! We’ll be in Shorewood in July. Hopefully we can see you then.
GREAT photo! I feel the love….
And wonderful points made through your Easter discoveries. I love the intimacy you share with the Lord and how it comes through in your pots.