Our Little Firecracker

Sky’s birthday is this Sunday, so it’s party week at our house. And I admit I’m a bit sentimental. I love remembering the end of my pregnancy with Sky, and the way it all felt too good to be true that we were finally having a baby after our years of infertility.

And now Sky’s turning four. Her babyness is gone and she’s a lovely little girl, full of sparkle and joy—our July firecracker. She’s never really been one to calmly take in the world. With Sky, life’s either so great she’s bouncing around the house or it’s so unfair she’d be slamming every door if that wasn’t against the rules. As my sister says, “Sky can make the saddest sad face possible.”

I love every bit of Skylar’s personality. But sometimes I’m not quite sure how to help her cope with the intensity of her feelings. So when I got to the chapter on girls and emotions in Loving the Little Years, I did a lot of highlighting.

Jankovich says she tells her girls that “their feelings are like horses—beautiful, spirited horses. But they are the riders. We tell them God… set us on a path on the top of a mountain together and told us to follow it… When our emotions act up, it is like the horse is trying to jump the fence and run down into a yucky place full of spiders to get lost in the dark. A good rider knows what to do when the horse tries to bolt—you pull on the reins! Turn the horse’s head! Get back on the path!”

Skylar and I have been talking about horses and riders a lot lately. But I’ve been thinking about my own horse too, especially during my long nights with Autumn. I don’t mind getting up to feed her or cuddle her when she needs me. But when I’ve settled her back in her bed and she’s fallen asleep, but then starts to cry again a few minutes later just as I’m starting to drift off myself… well, I start to mind. And when it happens over and over throughout the night, my horse heads straight off into the darkness. I begin to think I’m a failure as a mom, I must be doing everything wrong, and we’ll never get our sleeping struggles sorted out.

Jankovich points out that “the horses are not the problem. There is nothing wrong with emotions.” Read a bit of the Psalms and you know emotions are okay with God. But the Christian life involves taking our thoughts captive and that means we need to direct our feelings so they line up with God’s truth. One of my main goals as a mom is to think long term and stay calm. I believe there is a way to pour out my heart to God without forgetting that He is for me, not against me, and that He is always with me, encouraging me through the struggle.

At the end of the chapter, Jankovich points out that “a well-controlled passionate personality is a powerful thing. That is what dangerous women are made of… If you see a lot of passion in your little girls, don’t be discouraged. It is just wonderful raw material.” I’m so thankful for our Skylar Grace, for her fire-bright personality, and for the years we’ve had with her. I pray we have many more.