Grace-Based Parenting

Part I

A few months ago I was talking with some friends about our favorite parenting books, and several people mentioned Grace-Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel. After listening to all the positive things my friends had to say about it, I decided to check it out of the library. I read it in November and really liked it. I folded down a bunch of page corners to mark my favorite spots so I could talk about them later with Adam, but then we were busy packing for our trip up to my mom’s house and I ran out of time. The book had to go back to the library and I didn’t renew it since we’d be gone for almost three weeks.

Then a couple days before we left, I got a package in the mail. In it was a new copy of Grace-Based Parenting and a note asking me to read it and write about it on the blog. I tried for a while to figure out who sent it, but eventually decided to focus on the book itself.* Whenever something like this appears more than once in my life, I figure God wants me to pay attention to it. So this week I went back through the book (in my very own brand-new copy!) and it impacted me even more the second time.

In the beginning of his book, Dr. Kimmel describes grace-based parents as people who “spend their time entrusting themselves to Christ. They live to know God more. Their children are the daily recipients of the grace these parents are enjoying from the Lord. If you watch them in action, they appear to be peaceful and very much in love with God. They are especially grateful when their children are hardest to love.” He goes on to say that children are driven by three needs: security, significance, and strength. As parents, our job is to give our children three gifts: love, purpose, and hope.

I’m pretty sure God wanted me to read this book a second time and here’s why—I’ve had my share of parenting failures, especially in the past few weeks. Our trip to my mom’s was wonderful in many ways, but our kids had plenty of meltdowns while they were away from home and their regular routine, and Adam and I didn’t always respond well. We figured things would improve once we got back to our house, but after two solid days in the minivan, we were all exhausted, we had colds, and the kids were fussier than ever. I was definitely not filled with grace for them. And I found myself starting to panic over the fact that I am overwhelmed as a mother right now. What will happen in six weeks when baby #3 arrives?

To Be Continued…

* If you are the anonymous friend who sent me the book, thank you! I love to read parenting books, especially at a friend’s recommendation. This book came at the perfect time for me and I’m very grateful. =)