I’m 37 weeks pregnant and as my midwife said last week, I’m nearing “my window”, meaning the baby could come anytime. Since I was overdue with my first two babies, I’m not expecting this little one to arrive before her due date. But then again, you never know.
Birth is unpredictable.
And to be honest, that’s a little hard for me. I’m a planner and I like to know in advance what to expect. I’ve been through labor twice, so I do have an idea of what it’ll be like (especially the pain part—yikes), but every baby is different.
I have in my head the birth experience I want. I want to go into labor on my own and avoid another induction. I want to give birth without being hooked up to an IV and pumped full of synthetic substances. I would love, love, LOVE to have this baby sometime in the middle of February when she’s due, and not have to wait till I’m 42 weeks pregnant. And most of all, I want to have this baby in our home and not at the hospital.
Apparently, I want a lot of things.
When the Bible tells me to pour out my heart to God, I take it literally. I’ve asked God many times for a good home birth experience. I always feel better when I’m honest in my prayers. But afterward, I usually find myself remembering a verse on humility, like Isaiah 55:8. And I guess that’s the other half of asking for what I want—acknowledging that God can say no. Anytime to anything. Without explaining Himself to me.
My word for 2012 is calm. I want to have the gentle and quiet spirit that God values so much. And while that obviously applies to the way I interact with my kids, I think it’s also about holding my plans lightly. Not freaking out if a complication pops up that unexpectedly sends us to the hospital.
I can tell you right now that staying calm will be hard for me over the next month. Very hard. I’m tired and emotional and I don’t feel the greatest. And I really, really want to have this baby at home. Have I mentioned that yet?
But I’m thankful the Holy Spirit keeps bringing “my word” to mind. I don’t want to get so wrapped up in the “what ifs” of the birth that I miss out on the fun of anticipating this new little life. The other night Adam and I were talking about it and he compared the birth experience to a wedding. “I know the birth is very important,” he said, “just like a wedding is important. But in the end it’s about the marriage. What matters most to me right now is that you and the baby are healthy.” I married a wise man. =)
It’s been fun to plan our home birth and I hope it happens without any major complications. But in the end, it’s up to God.
“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” – Proverbs 16:9
I believe with all my heart, that He will grant you the desires of your heart. Stand on His Word!
You are such a sweet friend! I’m glad we’re getting together soon. I have lots of questions for you. =)
Oh Linni! I hope all your dreams for a home birth go wonderfully! I didn’t know that’s what you were planning. Prayers and prayers for you. We are also planning a home birth (an HBAC no less) for #3…coming in august!
Love to the Curington fam.
Clig
Wow Cath, congrats on baby #3! I didn’t know you guys were expecting again! Very exciting & so cool that you’re doing a home birth this time. =)
Found you on Heavenly Homemakers link up :). I am so excited for you, and hope that things go just as you hope!!! For my daughter, my heart’s desire was to deliver as naturally as possible and to avoid c-sections at ALL costs (I was praying that way from the moment I knew I was pregnant). Well, when she came three months early and my placenta started to tear I did end up with a c-section. It was good in that God taught me sometimes the things I dread aren’t the end of the world. I am still hoping for an all natural, full-term experience next time. Just wanted to encourage you that no matter how this little one comes, God planned the exact circumstances, and His plan is always best :). Good luck!
Thanks so much for sharing that with me. I’m glad your daughter is healthy and that you give God the glory for your birth story, even though it was different than you planned.
I am praying for you and so excited for the birth of your new daughter! I know God is going to be with you. It’s funny that your word for this year is calm because that’s exactly the word I was using today when praying for you all.
I am fully anticipating that her arrival is going to happen in the quiet and comfort of your own home, but even if that turns out not to be the case I am certain in my spirit that your Heavenly Father is going to fill you with His calm so that you can just be in the moment with Adam and celebrate her arrival, no matter what.
PS – Can’t wait to see you (and Brandi!) soon!
You are always perceptive, Aron. Thanks for praying for us. See you Thursday! =)
…and as you would readily agree, Baby #3 already belongs to God, and he has the corner on “calm”. All will be well, because it’ll turn out His way. Can’t wait to hold that precious little bundle of pink!
We are so excited to see you!
Linni, we are so excited for you guys :). We will definitely be praying alongside you for all to be calm and smooth for the birth, and that she comes at the perfect time for you all. We miss you x
Thanks Katy! We miss you guys too, so much!
Praying you get the birth you hope for. I agree with Adam just like the wedding is about the Marrige so is the birth about this precious life. I am so excited for you. I know God is in control. I also know all about being tired and emotional and how that starts to take a toll. SO my specific prayer for you my friend is that this birth comes at 39 weeks and comes smoth and FAST!!
like you said he wants us to pour out our hearts right.
Thank you Mendy! I’ll say Amen to that prayer! =)
Praying you get the birth you hope for. I agree with Adam just like the wedding is about the Marrige so is the birth about this precious life. I am so excited for you. I know God is in control. I also know all about being tired and emotional and how that starts to take a toll. SO my specific prayer for you my friend is that this birth comes at 39 weeks and comes smoth and FAST!!
like you said he wants us to pour out our hearts right??