I took this picture last week and I think it’s one of my all-time favorites. It was a busy weekday morning and we were all rushing around to get ready. Micah and I were heading to MOPS, and Adam was taking Sky to preschool where he’d be staying for “Donuts with Dad” before going to work as usual. Just before they left I grabbed the camera.
I’m not sure I have anything too important to say about this particular picture; I just love it and had to share it. Maybe because it shows two of my favorite people (who also happen to look a lot alike, don’t you think?) with big happy grins on their faces. Or maybe because this is the kind of moment I used to imagine back before we had kids. All I know is that when I look at it, I can’t help but think, wow, I’m blessed. I get to hang out with these people (and our little Micah) every day. I love them so much.
Is this why my mom obsessively took pictures of us when we were kids? Because a good photo can make some of the mess, noise, snotty noses, and temper tantrums fade into the background?
The truth is most of the day is not brushed hair and clean, smiling faces. It’s work and it’s draining. I make mistakes and tend to dwell on them, then feel guilty because I’m not enjoying every minute of motherhood the way strangers in the grocery store say I should (because “they grow up so fast!”).
Earlier I was reading Ann Voskamp’s blog, which today is about becoming a “Velveteen Mother” and allowing all the things that wear you down to make you beautiful. She says that motherhood has the power to both hurt and heal, and that God can make “something big of all this dust” once we allow Him to wear “everything down to pure, holy love.”
We all appreciate genuine, smiley pictures. But Voskamp’s right; God’s ability to turn ashes to beauty is a theme that runs throughout the Bible. I don’t grow a whole lot spiritually when life is smooth and easy. So maybe I shouldn’t fight so hard against the difficulty. The “dusty” every day moments are important too, even if they don’t make the prettiest pictures.
Oh, I love that picture too! Adam is such a good daddy! I’m so proud of him! and Yes, they look alot alike. I need to pull out some of his pictures at that age and post them side by side sometime. Looking at Skylar is a dejavu moment of Adam’s childhood. thanks for sharing this with us Linni!
And there’s the rub isn’t it? If only we would seek as diligent to grow in the easy times, maybe the tough times wouldn’t seem so overwhelming.
That’s a good point. It seems like God’s blessing should inspire us to seek Him diligently.
I cannot begin to tell you how your statement of “I make mistakes and tend to dwell on them, then feel guilty because I’m not enjoying every minute of motherhood” rings true for me each and every day. It is nice to know I am not alone…thanks, Linni for your time and wisdom in your blog.
Tricia
Thanks for your kind words, Tricia! Wish we could somehow meet for coffee… =)
From my perspective as “an old mom” of 66, some of my favorite pix in the old albums, the ones that make me smile-wide, are the ones of kids looking into plugged-up toilets, kids with spaghetti sauce all over their white Sunday clothes, kids kneeling in the puddle from a box of melted popsicles… and you get the idea. Motherhood frustration can morph into solid gold, with time.
I love that about you. You gave us a very fun childhood.
I’ve had so much fun catching up on your blog. So glad you’re back to writing. You write beautifully and have a beautiful family. Congratulations on your upcoming arrival!
Miss seeing you,
~Kelle
Thanks for your kind words, Kelle! I appreciate the encouragement. =)
Your kids are beautiful Linni! Sky has your jawline and chin
Miss you x