Another Baby

Earlier this spring, our family got some surprise news: my sister Birgitta, the youngest of us seven kids, is expecting her first baby this October. She’s just finishing her sophomore year at the University of Iowa and was definitely not planning to be pregnant right now. The clinic at her school told her she could easily “terminate the pregnancy”, but my sister made a different choice—she chose life, even though this baby will change just about everything in her future.

When I first heard Birgitta’s news, my thoughts were mixed: Yay, my sister’s going to be a mommy! And oh my, this is going to be hard for her. But God has given my sister just what she needs to help her through this unexpected twist in her life—our mom. You can read about my mom’s reaction to the news on her blog. The main thing to know is she responded with love, not condemnation, and encouraged Gitta to move back home.

Right now my sister knows my mom as, well, her mom. But pretty soon she’ll get to know her as someone else: her baby’s grandma. And she’ll probably find herself amazed at just how much “Grandma Midgee” loves this grandchild.

My little Skylar was not what you’d call an “easy” baby, and as a brand new mom I was stressed out. But Grandma Midgee stayed calm no matter what, even when she couldn’t get Sky to stop screaming. She’d unwrap her blanket and say, “Look at her ten tiny toes! She’s just perfect!” She’d pace around the living room and tell me, “This little girl is one of the best things that’s ever happened to you.” She said what I needed to hear in my lowest moments. And I know she’ll do the same for Birgitta.

Grandma Midgee does have an important boundary line—she doesn’t do nights. “I’m too old for that,” she said to me firmly, “I need my sleep.” But other than that, she’s willing to help. She’s actually visiting us here in Florida right now. And I’m sure this is melodramatic, but it puts joy in my heart to watch someone besides me change the fifth poopy diaper of the day.

But here is my very favorite thing about Grandma Midgee: she remembers. She raised seven kids and she hasn’t forgotten the details. She would never tell a mom in the grocery store to “enjoy every minute!” because she remembers not all of it is enjoyable. In my early days as a mom she once said, “You know, I wouldn’t call myself a ‘baby’ person. That first year was always an endurance contest for me. But I loved the toddler stage.” And just like that, she took the pressure off. All I could think was, “You mean it’s okay that I’m overwhelmed? It’s okay that I don’t love everything about life with my newborn?” She let me know I could struggle and still be a good mom.

Birgitta didn’t plan to become a mom just yet, but I know she’s going to do just fine. And at least part of that is because of who’s helping her. God, of course, and Grandma Midgee.