A few weeks ago my mom friends started passing around a blog from the Huffington Post called The Mom Stays in the Picture. In it, writer Allison Tate explains why she and many of her friends avoid being photographed: “We’re sporting mama bodies and we’re not as young as we used to be. We don’t always have time to blow dry our hair, apply make-up, perhaps even bathe (ducking). The kids are so much cuter than we are; better to just take their pictures, we think.” But when Tate’s son begged her to join him in a photo booth, she decided to go for it, realizing that years down the road her son would be happy to have pictures of the two of them laughing together. And he probably wouldn’t care if her hair was messy or she was still carrying extra baby weight.
I admit it. I got a little teary-eyed when read Tate’s post. Partly because I’m sleep deprived and overly emotional. And partly because I’m just so happy her post applies to me—I love being a mama. But also because I see myself in her words. When I catch a glimpse of my reflection in a mirror or see my image in a photo, I immediately cringe over something, many things. Lately I always think I look tired. And from there it’s easy to head down the “Wow, having kids has really changed me” path… which can quickly lead to the “Who am I? Have I lost myself?” train of thought…
Our culture applauds moms who still look like teenagers. Moms who maintain their pre-mom bodies, careers, and interests. Moms who preserve an identity apart from their family life. For the record, I’m all for moms staying sane—having alone time, getting out with friends, pursuing the dreams God puts in our hearts, and taking breaks (yes please!). But the pressure society puts on moms to 
have children without changing a whole lot is unrealistic. I don’t want to spend my days chasing after a younger version of myself. The truth is no matter how hard I try, I will never catch her. I’ll never look quite like her or think exactly like her again. And maybe that’s not all bad.
Author Rachel Jankovic says, “A Christian woman’s view is always forward and never back.” What if as moms we encouraged each other not to worry so much about who we used to be, but to figure out what qualities God wants us to cultivate right now?
God says children are a gift, and I don’t think He wants us to dwell mainly on how they’re wearing us down or what they’ve done to our bodies or how we don’t have much time for ourselves anymore. I think He wants us to enjoy our gifts. To stop idolizing the past and move forward. And take plenty of happy pictures with our kids along the way.
Amen!! LOVE the pic!
I love this! And you are one gorgeous mama!
Excellent post Linni!
So true Linni, and so well written. For the record – I think you are a beautiful mama, but I know exactly what you mean – particularly the exhaustion! Sooooo looking forward to seeing you in the holidays
Wow! Great post! And just so you know, you are beautiful. Motherhood has only added to that beauty.
Amen Linni! It is a treasured attribute to be comfortable in the “earth suit” temple which God made for dwelling inside of us and to try to enjoy each season of our life. As a reformed perfectionist, I am suspect of any woman who has the appearance of “having it all together” in every area of her life. It is difficult to “be still and know that He is God” and to just relax and enjoy the moments (wished I did more of that while raising our children). Usually the children and husband, are the ones lack the joy of being able to relax in their own home or even with the mother/wife in charge of it all (speaking from experience and observation). God has given you much wisdom and discernment and an appreciation for what you have right now in your life. God bless all of you mommas who are willing to have photos taken even while feeling ragged. Your children will want to see photos of you as they look through the albums in their adult years.
Linni, I love, love, love the photos. Little Autumn is YOU in ‘miniature beautiful’
I couldn’t agree more with TL’s comment; I believe you’re one fantastic person (in your own right), a wonderful mom, wife, and any other family or Godly label one could speak of you. We are ‘human-BEINGS’…..present tense…past is history, future a mystery….the ‘here and now’…is all we really have….God’s PRESENT! Let each moment unwrap, relish it’s delight and pleasure. Becoming the ‘woman of God’ He created you to be is a journey in preparation for eternity, and the blessings you derive along the way will outweigh the hurts and sorrows….we’re also promised.
What other people say or think about you will never be as important as what God says about you. All of us are our own worst critics.
True beauty comes from within…and my precious….you don’t need makeup or cute hairdo to make you beautiful, it’s as natural as natural can be….you wear it very well.
Yes, years down the road, your now little ones, will appreciate all you did to ‘capture the moment’…..because of the God Spirit in you and Adam that you instill in them.
Love you dearly,
GG
I agree totally!! I feel like I look tired all the time!! Life has changed and I feel pressures all the time as if staying at home is not enough. I’m grateful I get to and I ignore society’s pressures!! I love pics of you with your kids!!