Have any of you read the Duggars’ new book, A Love That Multiplies? I recently finished it and wish I’d read it with friends because, love them or hate them, the Duggar family is an interesting topic to discuss.
If you’ve ever watched 19 Kids and Counting on TLC, you’re probably familiar with Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar and their very large family. I don’t want to get into the whole birth control/family planning debate (the Duggars believe in allowing God to decide the size of their family, meaning they don’t use birth control of any kind). What fascinates me is how they function as a family.
A Love That Multiplies, which is the Duggars’ second book, explains their philosophy. If I had to sum it up in one word it would be this: togetherness. They live in a massive house, but except for Jim Bob and Michelle, all the girls share one room and the boys share another. The kids are homeschooled, they go to a home church where the whole family worships together instead of in age-divided groups, and the teenagers are encouraged to begin college online and then finish their degrees locally while living at home so that “the family does not have to be fragmented for the sake of college.”
There is so much I respect about the Duggars. They seem to truly love God and each other, and their children seem obedient and respectful. I can’t fathom the years Michelle Duggar has spent pregnant or caring for a newborn. She must be the most exhausted woman on the planet! Sticking to their no-birth-control philosophy when the babies keep coming must be difficult. The Duggars get lots of criticism for having all those kids, but they don’t argue or lash out in response. In an article in People back in August last year, Michelle acknowledged how hard it is when they are attacked. Critics have pointed out that there’s no way two parents can spend one-on-one attention with nineteen children every day, but instead of defending herself Michelle simply said, “It stabs my heart when there is truth in it.” It can’t be easy to respond in humility when strangers judge them just for having a big family.
At the same time, I wonder about all that togetherness. What would it be like to grow up in a family without much (or any?) personal space? And after all that homeschooling and homechurching, would it be scary to grow up and suddenly find yourself out in the world? Will the Duggar kids be more secure in the long run or less?
Adam and I are almost sure we’re going to homeschool our kids for at least part of their elementary years. I’ve always liked teaching and I’m really excited about it. I want it to be fun and creative, to do lots of hands-on activities and trips, and to let my kids direct their own learning—all things that can be challenging in the traditional school system. But I am concerned about the social aspect. I don’t want my kids to be isolated or feel like they spend all their time at home. I want us to be a close family, but ultimately I want our kids to grow up and be independent.
Do any of you homeschool your kids? Was it a hard decision to make? What do you think of the Duggars? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Hi Linnea – I had the privilege of teaching BIC with your mom here at The Orchard EFC (formerly AHEFC) – got to your blog from hers :).
We did not home school our kids, so I cannot answer your second question – but I think very highly of the Duggers. I can tell you that in my 10 years plus of teaching BIC (6th, 7th & 8th grades), the home schooled kids I have known have been head & shoulders above others their age in their ability to think clearly, speak intelligently on multiple topics, and converse with adults and others their own age constructively & politely. They have always seemed comfortable with the way God made them. In short, a pleasure to know & be around.
I do understand it’s a daunting responsibility – but what could possibly be a better investment of time?
Thanks for reading my blog! And thanks for your encouraging words.
The Duggars are Independent Fundamental Baptist who follow the Quiverfull belief. Some reviews thought this book is preachier than the first one. The kids will never be allowed in regular college because of the possible influence different world views. They use the ATI(Advanced Training Institute ran by Bill Gothard) curriculum but also SOS. It seems they relied heavy on ATI curriculum before the show. I question the quality of education the kids get. I don’t think the home church anymore. The girls seem to do most of the childcare but it may be downplayed on TV. I am not trying to make them look bad but telling the truth.
I think you’re right about the girls doing lots of childcare. There’s no way one mom could do it all!
oh, to live close by…i’ve been really wanting some close friends to home school with and you would be an excellent one. ever think of relocating to athens?
we did a homeschool preschool co-op w/anna belle (which really was more a of a co-op), but certainly not mainstream preschool. it was really fun but tiring. i’m looking forward to hearing your ideas and what you’re doing!
Clig
Oh it would be so fun to homeschool together! We are tentatively planning to do a 2-day a week church preschool for Sky this year, then homeschool full-time her after that. Some of my homeschooling friends have said their kids did better at home after a year of preschool. I have slightly mixed feelings about it. I want to do most of the educating at home, but I also want my kids to have good social development too. It’s hard to find the balance! I would love to hear what you’re doing this year too. What’s your curriculum? Are you doing the co-op preschool again?
Linnea, we homeschooled both our sons in the 90’s. It was a lot of work at first, but got easier the older they got. We had lots of opportunities to interact with other homeschool families and they boys participated in local sports teams and Boy Scouts. They loved the whole system. It worked well for them. They are both college graduates (one from Yale), and hardworking Christian men and excellent fathers and husbands. God was good to us.
Thank you for sharing that! Very encouraging.
I don’t think socialization is a big problem for kids today, especially compared to those who homeschooled in the 90s and earlier. Today there are so many options, so many classes and opportunites out there! Plus a lot of museums or educational places hold “homeschool days” or have special discounts for homeschoolers because they recognize that you can come in during non-peak hours. Today Internet groups not only offer support but often give an easy way to find those reduced cost events or free stuff.
I have challenges with it only because my family is extremely low income, and that makes it difficult to pay for those things, or often, I”m aware of a low cost opportunity but have no way of getting there (our family vehicle died a couple years ago). So I have to work extra hard to find opportunities or scholarships. But it can still be done. For the average family it’s not really an issue. Google homeschool and socialization and a million articles on the subject will come up. You’ll feel better about it.
Homeschooling is a choice many families have made for a variety of reasons, religion among them, and the quality of the education varies depending on such factors as the parents’ skill as teachers. A college friend of mine decided to homeschool her daughter after the family moved to an area where the public schools weren’t good; it happened that my friend was a natural teacher determined to see that her child’s education was excellent, and the daughter was a fantastic student blessed with an amazing intellect, curiosity, and drive. She recently completed a doctorate in physical therapy. She may well be the exception, and I’m sure she’d have done very well in a more traditional setting, but homeschooling worked out for her, and she also pursued interests in gymnastics and Scouting (there’s a comparable organization where they lived whose name I’ve forgotten). They weren’t living in isolation from the world and this young woman will be an asset to society wherever she lives and works. As for the concept of homechurching, if this is the Duggars’ choice, it’s their business…besides, that family’s so large they’d make up a large percentage of any congregation they attended!